Bad Apple is Not a Terrible Snapple Flavor

One of the many traps that Pilot and I had to avoid, that tomato looking apple mat is really a tarp over a bed of poisoned spikes.  And yes that guy standing on it did make the very poor choice to take a step back.

   

    We here at Eat Anonymous like to eat, anonymously.  That dosen't mean that we won't share secrets.  Like say, that the GLG20 is wicked over rated; much like the SAT (but that Spies Like Us is not).  Or that  the Heinz Family (and John Kerry), have conspired with the government to make us think that we have to accept ketchup as it is so that the terrorists don't win.

    That last bit is where our strange journey began.  Ever seen an episode of 24? Well, we are no Jack Bauer (no spies is, damn it, NO spy is), but that is what being a spy is really like.

Imagine the following with loud Beep Boop sounds after the time is announced 

7:00 pm (Beep Boop) - We get a distress call that some bastards are making their own ketchup and that it is the best in Chicago.  Since we write a food blog (that rules!) Pilot and I get the call to take a look.

7:01 pm - The message self destructs

7: 10 pm - We arrive via aerial drop, which was totally unnecessary since The Bad Apple is located near the Montrose stop of the Brown line but your hard earned tax dollars aren't gonna spend themselves.

 7:12 pm - We watch that dude get the poison spike treatment, and then we get seated.

7:14 pm - The guy from the Allstate commercials calls Pilot, that's when we discover that he was also in Major League as Serrano ("Bartender, Jobu needs a refill").  As spies (maybe?) we are not allowed to explain that he is really the president------>http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0371660/

7:15 pm - "Not The President" explains to us that lasers do kill genies (thus settling a long dispute between Pilot and I) and that we must eat all home made ketchup in site before it falls into the wrong hands.

7:16 - We call in back-up to help with the assigned task

7:18 - We are joined by fellow spies (that I will call by their spy names because I'm super good at covering up stuff and stuff) Lego X and Silly Sox.  We claim to the wait staff that it is Lego X's birthday (see, I told you I was good at that shit).  We then order beers from their beer menu that I am pretty sure is a double increment code with a triple seesaw codex.  And no, I did not just make that up to sound cool (maybe?).

7:25 - The beers arrive, Pilot Pulp's is poisoned with iocain powder but she is totally immune because she is bad to the bone.  Amateurs.

7:30 - After the beers, we order more beers

 7:31 - We order burgers and fries to kill our buzz and to kill all the home made ketchup

7:40 - The food arrives and the operation is in full swing.   Don't let that plate of scrumptious, excellent burger madness fool you.  THESE PEOPLE ARE MAKING THEIR OWN KETCHUP.

7:41 - It was hard, but we ate all the ketchup.  I know what you're thinking, "Dude, thank you for not letting the terrorists win"  And you're welcome.

7:42 (Beep Boop, you forgot to do it didn't you!) - Empty and alone this bottle of sweet, not too salty treat/dangerous-government-overthrowing super sauce is neutralized

7:43 - We ask for the bill and give payment.

8:00 - The paid up bill arrives.We figured the reason it took 17 min. to get our bill was because they rigged a bomb to it and we were right.  After Silly Sox disarmed it with a crochet needle and a gum wrapper from her pocket, we leave.

    I would like to end by saying that we kicked that missions ass.  Also I would like to say, "F -you terrorists we win and you lose".  I just hope that they don't make more ketchup for the 8 pm to 9 pm rush........

http://www.badapplebar.com/